Using power can look like using brute force. Head down, pushing on (often ignoring our boundaries), doubling down on willpower when we feel really tired, to get some more work done. Not stopping to check in with how we are doing. Loosing our joy and energy along the way.
This is often fuelled by fear of falling behind, self-criticism that tells us that we should do more or better, that there is no time to rest now in this very greedy, competitive and highly critical world of academia.
(This is how I spend the last part of my PhD and the first months of my new job as an assistant professor- resulting in a burnout.)
When we use this form of power it can feel like we are rowing upstream or pushing a boulder uphill.
Soft power
Soft power can help us reach our goals, follow through in a much gentler and more sustainable way. This is about following the direction of the flow, bringing gentleness. Using the current of the water to let yourself be carried, rowing downstream.
Soft power is about:
🌱 Regular and honest check-in’s
- How am I doing (am I still being effective and efficient?)
- How am I feeling?
- What do I need ?
- What do I want>
🌱 Following through by nurturing yourself
- Giving yourself what you need
- Taking time to refill your battery during the day and after your workday
- Being kind and compassionate towards yourself
- Tending to the afraid part of you
- Taking a break or stopping when you are tired
🌱 Looking at how you can make things easier, lighter
- How could I make this simple, easier or lighter? (what changes can I make in my goals or approach?)
- Where is the energy flowing? How can I make use of that flow?
- How can this process be more joyful?
- How can I build in support that makes it easier to succeed?
- How can I make changes in my environment so it becomes easier to reach my goal?
🌱 Connecting to what pulls you forward
(instead of whipping yourself forward or pushing yourself with critical selftalk)
- Your curiosity?
- Your love for learning?
- Your desire to serve?
- Your values?
- Your joy?
🌱 What does soft power look like for you?
🌱 How can you use it more and more often?
So you can let yourself be carried by the stream instead of rowing upstream?